StillDiscoveringMe..

Urghh…The burning fire that evokes rage in me..*sigh* my tumultous feelings..

Just realized today while talking and thinking and remembering stuff that whenever someone offends me I never really forgive them. I know the whole talk about how forgiveness is not complete without forgetting but I never really do forget, do I?

It hurts me to know that despite how much I try to forgive, I never really asked God to take away the pain or hurt and really ask Him to give me the grace to forgive people as much as He forgives me..:(

I only ever did that once and I actually really have forgiven that person..Funny enough. But most times I tend to think I can do these things on my own and then I fail and I stumble. And yes, typical me will think it’s over and try to be all nice and friendly and all and slowly, I leave people and relationships are destroyed and friendships that could have lasted a lifetime were never given the opportunity to bloom and that really hurts.

2011 was a dope year though but I realized that all the people who hurt me;Note that I have counted them all and all their sins; I have not actually forgiven like really…I still hold my grudges and I have destroyed all relationships..I haven’t actually talked to them this year sha.

But today, I hope and pray God grants me the grace to forgive them and try to salvage anything that is left of such relationships. I just remembered a friend of mine who told me in high school that I had the ability to make amazing friends but my problem was keeping them because once they hurt me, it was over. This attitude just has to change God, please help me..

In the words of Bob Marley, “Everyone is going to hurt you, You just have to realize the ones worth fighting for”

Lord, please help me to realize this…